That’s first class, Ed

London proved too much for our Ed,

So Ed’s leavin’ the life he’s come to know,

He said he’s goin’ back to find

Ooh, what’s left of his world,

The world he says he knows

Not so long ago.

He’s leaving,

On that First Class train to Coventry,

And he’s goin’ back

To a simpler place and time.

And I’ll be with him

On that First Class train to Coventry,

He’d rather live in his world

Than live without perks in mine.

He kept dreamin’

That someday he’d be leader.

But he sure found out the hard way

That dreams don’t always come true.

So he pawned his brother

and he even sold his own soul

Bought a First Class ticket back

To the life he claims he knew,

Oh yes he did,

He said he would

Be leavin

On that First Class train to Coventry,

And he’s goin’ back

To a simpler place and time.

And he’ll be hidin’

On that First Class train to Coventry,

He’d rather live in his world

Than live without perks in mine.

Go, gonna board, gonna board,

Gonna board the First Class train.

Gotta go, gonna board

Gonna board

Gonna board the First Class train

Important announcement from thecredo

I have avoided this for months, and it’s time – I believe – to finally relent and do that which I should have done weeks ago.

I am not a terribly “hard” person, contrary to a lot of what my followers see me tweet. So, I suppose that to some who are under this misapprehension, my announcement will come as a surprise.

It has been a very difficult season for me personally, which is why this decision has been so long coming, I suppose.

So, rather than beat around the bush, I will just “cut to the chase”, as the Americans have it.

Today, at 1100(GMT), I am lifting my office moratorium on Christmas music. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. I thrive on tension and angst. But, I think it was the right decision, and one in which I will have your support.

Many thanks for reading, listening, and for your ongoing support during this difficult, but courageous time in my life.

Kind regards,

thecredo

The Tom Harris Money Shot

It defies comment, at the moment:

Any minister who puts civil liberties ahead of security should be in student politics, not government.

It’s time for Nadine Dorries to stop saying things, in public

I had promised a post on this, but unfortunately other commitments prevented me from writing it in a more timely fashion.

I’m sure you were all on the edges of your assembled seats, looking forward to every jot and tittle that proceeds forth from my brilliant mind.

More likely – I suspect – you didn’t notice and this will be a surprise – along the line of an extra 50p with your change, or finding that mismatched sock.

Nadine Dorries has written a rather short, rambling diatribe lamenting the very existence of media like blogs and Twitter. In her post, which has been well-fisked by the people over at Liberal Conspiracy, she writes:

Is there such a thing as Twitter addiction? How can anyone live a normal life who can do that? Surely these people cannot be in employment because if they are, how can they work? if they aren’t then it’s time they got a job which involves being sat at a key board because there’s nothing much up with their fingers, brain or attention span!!

We shall set aside the glaring grammatical errors in her post (we all make mistakes, but she seems quite good at them), for the time being, and focus instead on the direction she takes with her now fully-formed Straw Man.

If you are an MP, says Dorries, you should not be on Twitter, and you should not have a blog. This, of course, was written on the Nadine Dorries blog.

The argument seems to go that if you are an MP, and a prolific Tweeter, you obviously have far too much time on your hands, and should probably stop, in the interest of clawing back more public funds.

I believe this to be her argument because she leaps from the “MPs shouldn’t be online” statement right into the “all prolific Tweeters are benefit fraudsters” line. It’s really quite breathtaking.

Needless to say, her remarks prompted not a little backlash in the Twitterverse and Blogosphere, as well as in the Westminster village.

Everyone I spoke to about it asked me if she was, variously, drunk, mentally unstable, dim, suffering a breakdown, “on her way out”, angry at Tom Harris (huh?), and on the list goes. One Whitehall staffer even asked me if one of her children wrote the blog for her.

Not good.

Meanwhile, what has gone unnoticed is the ongoing Tory legacy to make government more accessible to the electorate. Guess what plays a major role in that undertaking?

That’s right. It’s social media. So, what on earth was she thinking? Is Dorries still paranoid because of her £10,000 expenses claim, or does she have an axe to grind with the Cabinet?  Who knows? And, more to the point, who cares?

At the end of the day, her words were irresponsible, contrary to government mandates regarding accessible government, ill-informed, and – frankly – rude.  She needs to apologise, which brings us to this:

…if you claim to work for the Labour party and write porn at the same time as claiming your disability benefit – then don’t expect someone like me not to a) inform the authorities and b) tell you to get of your Twitter and get a job.

Right. But, what about your contention that MPs should stay away from Social Media, Nadine? Though, it would seem that doesn’t apply to you. That isn’t really addressed, and that – as it happens – is the bit I’m most interested in figuring out.

But, let’s put that on the back of the hob, for the time being, shall we?

There is also the niggling matter of language. Nadine, in just these two posts says thusly:

I’m going to have to set up a Twitter account again so that I can check this out for myself!… Not.

Will we hear stories of people who Tweet, oh I don’t know, say 50 times a day and need to go into re-hab? I will put money on that being a Daily Mail story one day.

tell you to get of your Twitter and get a job.

These are not the words of a stateswoman. These are the words of the alleged class of mouth-breathers she is apparently so anxious to protect the public purse from!

In summary, Nadine, you did bad, you said bad. Retract it all – properly – or suffer the consequences of not toeing the party line. Because, at the end of the day, you’ve proven not just your own ignorance (and arrogance), you’ve also illustrated for the electorate the contempt with which you hold the Tory mandate to make government accessible.  That, in my opinion, is reason enough to go.

– This blogpost is my own opinion.

MetGate: You’ll never guess who axed the inquiry. Oh. Yes, that’s right.

From the Guardian:

The Home Office abandoned plans to establish an independent inquiry into the News of the World phone-hacking scandal last year after a senior official warned that the Metropolitan police would “deeply resent” any interference in their investigation, according to a leaked government document.

Fascinating reading.

Is Andy Coulson guilty of journalistic impropriety?

Answer: It doesn’t matter.

Andy Coulson’s reputation has been dragged through the trenches quite lavishly over the past several days, with Prime Minister David Cameron being forced to step up and offer vocal support for his Director of Communications.

Most of the political chattering classes already know why, but no one seems too sure whether the allegations are true or not. Did Andy Coulson participate in the illegal interception of voicemails belonging to well-known personalities?  My opinion is that – at this point – it really doesn’t matter.

Why? – you ask.  Well, I’ll tell you.

First, Coulson’s appointment was a massive error in judgement on the part of the coalition.  News of the World is quite well known for its involvement in dirty tricks, drive-by journalism, and the proverbial gutter-press stories.  It is a highly questionable paper, and any man who willingly takes the post of editor puts his own integrity at risk.

Fortunately, for Coulson, he’s not a bad chap, and much of this can be overlooked.

However, his previous position combined with the very serious allegations now being pointed his way simply cannot – and should not – be overcome.  He needs to stand down for the sake of the Government, and for the sake of the Conservative party.

Whether we wish to admit it or not, this will come back to haunt the Prime Minister if Coulson stays on board.

It’s difficult enough as it is to keep a coalition government together, let alone when also having to deal with persistent questions about the ethical status of your senior staff.

Guilty or not, I fear, the only answer is for Coulson to go. (Sorry, Andy)

UPDATE: A senior Tory source has said that Coulson’s position is “like a long gunpowder fuse”, and suggests resignation possible

Disgruntled Tory backbenchers speak out against Hague, bypass PM

Disgruntled Tory backbenchers, and peer Lord Tebbit have spoken out against William Hague, effectively bypassing Prime Minister David Cameron.

In a remarkable display of insubordination, the Tory peer called Hague “naive” and “foolish”, following his statement about rumours circulating on the Internet that Hague is gay – and engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a special advisor.

The offensive, led by Lord Tebbit, and John Redwood, is rumoured to be fueled by ongoing disquiet amongst Tory backbenchers surrounding the coalition government, and compromise on key Tory policies.

Some in the Westminster village have suggested that Tebbit and Redwood are taking advantage of the absence of David Cameron – who is on paternity leave, following the birth of his daughter – to strike back against compromises made under the coalition agreement.

Lord Tebbit and John Redwood have a long history, with the Tory peer having supported Redwood for the party leadership in 1995. He also was very outspoken about homosexuality, suggesting that gay people should not be able to hold posts, such as that of Home Secretary.

Tebbit has opposed official Tory policy in the past, publicly, and is leading a rebellion against the coalition government, it has been suggested.

Indeed, Tebbit may get what he wants, this week – a head on a platter. Wouldn’t he be surprised if it was his?

Things that make me angry – Pt. I

• Farm equipment on the A27
• Cyclists
• Over-zealous jobsworths (council workers, police, binmen)
• Labour
• Health warnings on tobacco
• Signs that shout at me (SLOW! KEEP RIGHT! NO SMOKING! PLEASE WAIT DOWNLOADING DATA!)
• Most playwrights
• Artistic abstractions
• Interpretive dance

I’m still working on this list. It is by no means comprehensive.

On Americans, OAPs, and the real Commonwealth heroes

Do you hate cyclists?  I do.

The road that I take to work, in this tourist infested part of England, is frequented by a special kind of cyclist at this time of year. Mostly Americans, marvelling at how much the Sussex Downs look like Kentucky (why not just go to Kentucky, then?), riding around on rented bicycles with asses that look like they stuffed a waterbed into a pair of Wranglers (thanks, Rich).

My commute, which when I get a late train back from London takes about 10 minutes from the station to my house, can take up to an hour when these loons are out enjoying an exhausting loll through the B-roads of Sussex. But they’re not really the cause of the problem – even though I wish they were, so I could scorn them ever more. No, the cause are the white-topped-barely-seeing-over-the-steering-wheel geriatrics, who probably should have stopped driving in the 1970s.

For some reason, it is eminently difficult for these people to pass a small, narrow (apart from the aforementioned ass) vehicle, even with no oncoming traffic. Their usual  rate of travel (25mph) is thus reduced to a crawl, as they await either the cyclists to turn, or pitch over from their inevitable heart attack because the most exercise they’ve had is to walk to the car to drive 500 yards to the Piggly Wiggly for their daily dose of Krispy Kreme and aerosol cheese.

So, to the geriatrics: we love you. Really. You fought in wars that we cannot possibly fathom so we could enjoy the privilege of complaining about you. We will support and honour you to your – and our – deaths. But, please, in the name of all that is good in this land, stop driving.  I will personally collect you and take you to Tesco.

And, to the Americans who are everywhere within earshot, this time of year – even when up to a mile away – stop behaving like imbeciles.

You don’t own Britain, the banks do. Britain doesn’t owe you the right to behave like twats. The Canadians, the Australians, and just about everybody else in the free world were here happily fighting for Queen and country alongside the unflappable British, long before you were.

You didn’t eradicate the Nazi menace. The Commonwealth did. So, as you can’t be forced to go home, please just use your hired cars. It’s the easiest way to get to McDonald’s, anyway.

Boring

I need to start writing stuff, again.

Perhaps I can start a running commentary on the fat cyclists the frequent the B2145 between Selsey and Chichester.

We shall see.